The Etiquette of Wedding Invitations — A first aid guide
Picture this: You receive a stunning wedding invitation in the mail, but the RSVP deadline has already passed. Or, worse, the invitation doesn’t even mention a dress code, leaving you scrambling to guess if it’s black tie or casual. Now put this idea out of your head because this ain’t going to be you.
Know that invitation mishaps like these cause unnecessary stress for your guests—and you. That’s why understanding modern wedding invitation etiquette is essential. It’s not just about being polite; it’s about creating a seamless and enjoyable experience for everyone involved.
In this guide, we’ll cover everything from the basics of what to include in your invitation suite to navigating tricky scenarios like plus-ones and guest list dilemmas.
What you start with
Part 1: The basics of wedding invitations
Your invitation suite should capture your wedding’s essence while providing all the necessary details for your guests. It should in the first place be practical and nothing else, but wrapped like a beautiful present. Here’s what you need to know:
Essential information to include
Every wedding invitation should clearly answer the “who, what, when, and where.” Here’s what to include:
The names of the couple: Traditionally, the hosts' names (often the couple and/or their families).
The date and time of the ceremony: Don’t forget to include AM or PM to avoid confusion, depending on how you write the hour. It differs from country to country or even in between regions. So make sure, there can be no misconception.
The location: Include the full address, even if it’s a well-known venue.
Dress code: Let guests know what’s appropriate to wear, even if it’s a casual affair. You don’t want one person to show up in full evening attire and the other in a whimsy summer dress. Or maybe you do?
RSVP details: Specify how and by when guests should respond. More on this later…
The anatomy of a wedding invitation suite
An invitation suite is available in different formats depending on the level of detail you wish to provide:
A classic 3-piece suite typically includes:
Main invitation: The centerpiece of your suite, detailing the ceremony information.
RSVP card: Includes a space for guests to confirm attendance and select meal preferences, if applicable.
Details card: Provides additional information, such as directions, accommodations, or a wedding website.
An expanded 5-piece suite includes:
Save the date: Sent ahead of the invitation to help guests mark their calendars.
Main invitation: The key piece of the suite.
RSVP card: Sometimes paired with an envelope or a wedding website link.
Details card: Covers logistical details.
The fifth piece to which the name hints is for the response envelope with your return address printed on the front. You use this to send back the RSVP-card
Optional additions like reception cards, itinerary cards, or a map can further elevate the suite. Each component should reflect your wedding’s theme and style.
Or not…
Part 2: Etiquette rules to follow
Timing is everything
The first big question I always get: when should we send our save the dates or invitations? To be honest, there are many, many, many possible answers to that question because, unfortunately, it all depends on the type of wedding you want and on top of that, you can do whatever you want. It is YOUR wedding.
But for the one’s who like a more simple answer (I see you), here's a general timeline that you can use as a guideline while planning:
Save-the-dates: Send these 6-12 months before the wedding to ensure guests mark their calendars. Especially for destination weddings it is normal to inform year guest a year in advance to make all the necessary arrangements.
Invitations: Send formal invitations 6-8 weeks before the wedding for local events, and 8-12 weeks for destination weddings.
Follow-ups: If RSVPs haven’t been returned 2 weeks before the deadline, politely follow up.
RSVP etiquette
Make it easy for guests to RSVP:
Provide a clear deadline, typically 3-4 weeks before the wedding. Check this with your vendors or wedding planner for the exact timing and allow yourself a few extra days.
Include both online and traditional RSVP options, if possible.
Be prepared to follow up with guests who don’t respond.
Addressing envelopes
Who gets addressed how? Follow these general rules:
For couples, list both names: “Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Jane Doe.”
For families, include the parents’ names on the outer envelope and list “and family” to include children.
Avoid abbreviations (e.g., write “Street” instead of “St.”).
Guest lists and plus-ones
Navigating plus-ones and guest lists can be tricky and there have been horror stories written about less scary things. Here are some tips:
Be specific: Clearly indicate who’s invited by name on the envelope and RSVP card.
If you’re not offering plus-ones, avoid vague wording like “and guest.”
For child-free weddings, note this delicately on your details card or website, never on the main invitation.
Mastering wedding invitation etiquette isn’t just about rules; it’s about creating a thoughtful experience for your guests and for yourselves. From sending invitations on time to addressing envelopes with care, these small details go a long way in setting the tone for your big day.
Remember, invitations are more than just a formality—they’re a glimpse into the celebration of your love story.
FAQs: Everything you want to know about wedding stationery suites
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A wedding invitation suite is a collection of stationery pieces that communicate key information and set the tone for your wedding. A cohesive suite ensures a consistent and polished look throughout your celebration.
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Start with your theme and color palette. Identify what inspires you and collaborate with a stationery designer who can translate that vision into something tangible. The goal is to reflect your story through visual details like typography, illustrations, and finishes.
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Begin with a clear vision for your wedding’s theme, starting with the invitation, even though it is not the first item you’ll need. Work closely with your designer to carry that theme across each piece, from save-the-dates to thank-you notes.
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Personalized wedding stationery is a wonderful way to reflect your style and engage your guests. Consider adding custom illustrations, meaningful quotes, or even hand-lettered calligraphy, ribbons, and wax seals that resonate with your personality and story.
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All items can share similar design elements to create consistency, but they can also feature unique touches to distinguish them from the main invitation.
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A typical wedding invitation suite includes the main invitation, RSVP cards, and any additional information cards, like reception or accommodation details. Extras for the big day are also available, such as thank-you cards, menu cards, featured drinks, seating charts, and guest books.